EVA Gear Solid One and a Half
by Beanster the Terrible
Summary: What happenes when a famed legend from the past gets catapulted into the future that is post Second-Impact earth? Chapter 5 is UP!! YAAAHHOOOO!!! ::chugs Sake::
1. The Cardboard Box of Time!

EVA Gear Solid 1.5

A fanfic by:

Beanster the Terrible 

Disclaimer: For the love of god, if I owned Evangelion OR Metal Gear Solid, do you think I'd be here writing a story about it!? For Christ's sake, Gainax owns EVA, and Konami owns Metal Gear Solid. Now, on to the story.

            It was an especially cold and rainy day in the city of Manhattan, as a solitary man walked the streets. Clad in a grey poncho, whose hood covered most of his features, he took another puff of the cigarette in his mouth. The figure stopped abruptly, reading the building address. Glancing up at the tall apartment building, he threw his cigarette on the ground, threw back his hood, and entered. The man had a face of stone-hard features, and a bandanna tied around his forehead, right at the hairline. Finding his way to a room on the top floor, he knocked at the door as a bolt of lightning tore through the sky. The door opened.

"Snake! Come on in!"

"Hi Otacon. I was in the neighborhood, so I decided to stop by. Some weather we're having, eh?"

"Some weather indeed. Let me get you a towel. Hold on a sec…"

Snake looked around the apartment. It was littered with computer components of all kinds. Snake just shook his head. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck the roof of the apartment building. Snake jerked his head up, looking at the ceiling. Electricity coursed down from the center of the ceiling, enveloping the walls with little veins of electrical current. The odd thing was, the walls didn't set on fire. Suddenly, a silhouette appeared above Snake's head. 

"What the…!?"

It was the silhouette of a cardboard box. With the bottom opened up. Hovering above Snake's head.

There was a blinding flash from inside the box and a booming peal of thunder.  The otaku came back out from the bathroom, towel in hand. He looked around an empty room. "Ummm… …Snake?"

Well, there you have it. The first chapter of the great crossover, EVA Gear Solid 1.5 is completed. I know I left you, the audience, in suspense, but don't worry. This chapter's short length was due to the fact that it was just setting up for the main course. You're probably also wondering, "_Why the hell did the author change the name to EVA Gear Solid 1.5!? I mean, what's up with that?_" Well, you'll all find out. Soon. Please read and review, and the next chapter will probably be posted in a few… minutes. Until then…

Beware the Cardboard Box of Time.

~Beanster the Terrible


	2. Snake in the Box

EVA Gear Solid 1.5

Chapter 2: Enter the Snake

Disclaimer: I don't own Metal Gear Solid or Neon Genesis Evangelion. Stop bugging me.

            "And so, the Second Impact was one of the most trying times man has ever experienced. I remember where I was when it occurred…" Shinji Ikari was bored to death. The teacher of class 2-A, for the 5th time that week (and it was Friday), had begun rambling along on the devastating effects of the Second Impact. Glancing around at his classmates, he noticed one extremely distinct similarity among most of them.

They're eyes were glazed over worse than a badly-made doughnut.

Even the class rep was having a hard time keeping focused, as her head bobbed up and down, falling in and out of sleep. For Shinji, this was the norm. The only student who seemed actually alive was Kensuke, furiously typing away at his laptop, probably engaging in some illegal government database hacking. Him, and Asuka, who was staring at Shinji with intensity and a flame in her eye. Shinji, though all the alarms in his head told him not to ask why, went ahead and asked anyway. He typed a message into his laptop and sent it to the redhead.

"Why are you staring at me, Asuka?"

"You think I'm staring at your non-existent good looks? I was trying to burn a hole through your head, you baka. Unfortunately, it didn't work. You're just too thick. Besides, I can't see a thing outside the window!"

Shinji turned his head to look out the window. She was right. There was a thunderstorm outside, and it was raining so hard that visibility was nil. Lightning tore a path through the clouds, dispersing throughout the sky. Suddenly, a stray lightning bolt hit the roof directly above the classroom they were in. There was a flash and a deafening peal of thunder, then a dull thud, as if something heavy fell right outside the classroom. The teacher noticed this, and postponed his speech to investigate. Shinji also had a clear view of the door. What happened next was fast and strange. The teacher yelled in surprise, and then there was a *pfft* noise, then the teacher collapsed, and then Shinji saw a figure run by. He was running fast, but they boy got a good look at him. He was tall, and had a strange outfit on. It was a grey and black bodysuit, with a gun in a holster on his right leg, and a collar that blocked him from seeing most of his face. But he noticed something distinctive; the man had a black bandanna tied right below his hairline.

"Who WAS that!?"

Hikari yelped when she saw the unconscious teacher fall back in the doorway. Touji jumped out of his seat and ran over to him. Hikari just looked on in worry. "Is… Is he…?"

"No. He's alive. Looks like he was tranquilized…"

Shinji sighed a breath of relief. Whatever that gun the man had, it was obviously just a tranquilizer pistol. But why would a man in such a strange outfit be running around the school with a tranq pistol? Asuka walked up.

"I'm going to go find that guy."

Shinji jerked his head around, staring at Asuka in disbelief.

"But Asuka! You might get hurt!"

Hikari poked a finger at Shinji and smirked.

"Oohh… you seem quick to object, eh Shinji?"

Shinji just blushed. "I-It's not like that! You saw it! That guy had a gun!"

Asuka just fumed. "Ugh… FINE! You'll come with me. Just don't lag behind, got it? I'm gonna find this guy!"

Asuka and Shinji ran through the hallways, searching for the mysterious man. There were wet footprints leading from the classroom, and Shinji and Asuka had to run fast before they dried up. Rounding a corner, they ran straight into a dead end. Literally. Shinji skidded to a stop, inches away from the wall, but then Asuka ran into him, effectively knocking him, and her, over. Touji, Kensuke, and Hikari were next to jog around the corner. What met their eyes was a quite comical sight. In running into Shinji, she had brought the both of them falling backward. Thus, Shinji was lying face-up between Asuka's legs, with his head lying directly on top of her breasts. It was a comical sight indeed. Touji had backed up against the wall, hands in front of his face. "Jeezus, Shinji! We leave the two of you alone for a minute, and this is what we find!? Why don't you just get a room already!" Kensuke was videotaping the whole thing. 

"Blackmail material… eeeexellent."

Hikari was furious. "I send you two to go find that intruder, and you two start making love in a hallway! You two are HOPELESS!!" Shinji just groaned as he picked himself up, and sat down on a conveniently placed cardboard box. Asuka finally came to also. "Oooohhh… I feel like I ran into a wall… what happened…?"

Shinji looked up wearily at the redhead. "Asuka, you DID run into a wall."

"Oh." Then she noticed Shinji was sitting on a conveniently placed box.

"Hey, scoot over. I want to sit down too." Shinji complied, and Asuka plopped herself down on the conveniently placed cardboard box. The two children sat in silence, catching their breath. After a minute or so, a barely audible grunt was heard from the conveniently placed cardboard box.

"Did you say something, Shinji?"

"Nope."

"Oh, okay."

The two children kept sitting, now just to pass the time, due to the fact that the teacher was out cold. After a couple minutes more, the conveniently placed cardboard box emitted a slightly more audible grunt.

"Dammit, Shinji, If you have something to say, then say it!"

"What are you talking about, Asuka? I didn't say anything."

"Hmmm…?"

By now, Shinji had pulled out his SDAT and plugged the earphones in his ears, quietly humming the tune of the famous track 26. The whole song had played through twice, and the two EVA pilots still sat there. The storm had cleared up slightly, to the point that Asuka could see out the window to the rain-soaked city outside. After five minutes, the conveniently placed cardboard box let out a highly audible grunt, that even Shinji heard, though his earbuds were in place. Asuka jumped off the conveniently placed cardboard box.

"THAT'S IT!! If I hear that audible grunt from you one more time, I'll drop-kick you out that window!!"

"Asuka? What are you talking about!? I didn't make any audible grunts!"

"Are you calling me a LIAR, Shinji Ikari!?"

By now, Asuka had worked herself up to a dangerous level.

"Ugh!! You dummkopf!!"

She slammed her fist down HARD on the conveniently placed cardboard box. This time, the conveniently placed cardboard box said, "Ow!" Shinji heard it too, jumping up from the conveniently placed cardboard box. "What… was that…!?"

Asuka grabbed a broom off the wall as Shinji tentatively reached for the sides of the box.

"Ready, Asuka?"

"Ready as ever. Lift it!"

"HIYAH!!"

*pfft*

*pfft*

"OooOooOoOOooohhh…"

*WHUMP*

When the young boy came to, he was in a familiar hospital room, his school uniform neatly folded on a table next to his bed. Staring at the familiar ceiling, he muttered to himself, "Not again…"

All right! Chapter two, completed!! I'm on a roll here. Chapter three will be coming soon, so don't sweat it.

Read and review, so I know that there are actually some people READING this wacked-out fanfic. I need some support here!!

Until next time…

Long live the conveniently-placed cardboard box.

~Beanster the Terrible

PS- to some of the people who were wondering about the "Cardboard Box of Time", well, this is supposed to be a halfway humorous fic, so I decided to make the method of time-travel a cardboard box.


	3. Mr Pliskin? I forgot my homework REVISED

EVA Gear Solid 1.5

Chapter 3 v2.0: Enter the Snake

Disclaimer: Ugh… Must I do this again!? ::glances over shoulder to lawyer standing behind:: ::lawyer nods his head:: Dammit… Fine. I don't own Metal Gear Solid, nor do I own Evangelion. Now go get me a soda. ::lawyer shakes his head no:: Goddammit…

Asuka waited impatiently for the purple-haired Director of Operations to sign the release forms allowing her to take the two children home. "I mean, it was just a stupid tranquilizer shot, its not like it was a real bullet. Why did we have to stay overnight!?" Shinji pulled one of his SDAT earbuds out.

"Its no big deal, Asuka."

"Oh shut up, Third Child. I can see why you would have to stay here, you damn spineless pansy-a-"

"Asuka, NERV required that you stay here overnight. For all we know, it could have been infected with some kind of virus, or perhaps nanomachines."

"Nano-whatsit?"

"Nanomachines. They're tiny, microscopic robots that exist in the bloodstream. They can be controlled by radio frequency on the outside, and can cause some serious internal damage if made to. You can't be too sure, Asuka. Someone may want you dead."

"And who would want the great 2nd child Asuka Langley Sohryu dead?"

Shinji just shook his head.

The ride home was pretty much uneventful. Uneventful, aside from Shinji screaming to Misato to stop the car because he saw a cardboard box on the side of the road. However, lifting it up, he found nothing. This only earned a smirk from Asuka and weird looks from Misato. Upon reaching the apartment, they entered to find the phone ringing.

"Um, hello?"

"Shinji! Listen, I think I've got a lead on the mystery man at school the other day!"

"Really? You didn't hack into any government databases to get this info, did you?"

"Oh, just shut up and get over here!!"

"M'kay. See ya, Kensuke."

*click*

"Misato! I gotta go to Kensuke's place really quick!"

"Okay, Shinji. Be careful!"

With that, Shinji started to walk to Kensuke's house. However, about halfway there, something spotted his eye. Someone was moving in. There was a moving van parked in the driveway, so Shinji decided to stand by and see who was moving in. Finally, a man emerged from the doorway. He was tall, and was dressed in blue jeans and a plain white T-shirt. His face looked as if it were chiseled out of solid rock. A lit cigarette hung lazily out of his mouth. Suddenly, he noticed something. His hair was dark brown, and he had a bandanna tied right under the hairline. _Just like the intruder at school!_ This fueled Shinji to run all the way to Kensuke's house. He didn't notice the man watching him run the whole way.

"Kensuke! *pant* I think *wheeze* I saw the *huff* guy with the *wheeeeeze* tranquilizer gun at school!"

"Whoa, calm down, Shinji. I need you to concentrate on what I'm saying."

Shinji just nodded.

"That guy fits the description of a secret US Government operative."

"WHAT!?"

"That's not the serious part. This guy is Solid Snake."

"Solid Snake? Wasn't he the one who stopped some nuclear launch or something?"

"Yep. He's the one who destroyed all the Metal Gears of the past."

Shinji thought. '_Metal Gear!? The 20th century predecessors of the EVA series?_'

"Waitaminnit. I thought he was dead! Like he sank a tanker or something!"

"And here he is now…"

"…How!?"

"Hey Shinji, you said that you saw Snake. Where was he?"

"He was moving into a house, halfway from my place to yours. It had to have been him. He had a bandanna."

"…We can't let him know that we know. For all we know, he could be part of some secret government longevity project or something!"

"Right. "

"…What the hell is going on here!?"

The next day…

Shinji ran alongside Asuka on the way to school. The place was a buzz with rumors and theories as to who the mysterious man was. Of course, Shinji and Asuka were swamped as soon as they entered, swamped with questions as to what happened.

"Who was he?"

"Where's he from?"

"What'd he look like?"

"What was Shinji doing lying on top of you?"

Everyone, everything, and all people in a 20-foot radius ceased to move or speak. Asuka was beyond furious. She was in an unstoppable rage.

"WHO SAID THAT!?!?"

Asuka saw a figure running at near-mach speed away from the crowd, with a video camera in hand.

"KENSUKE!!!!!!!" screamed the wrathful third child, giving pursuit.

Shinji just shook his head, sighing. A giant sweatdrop appeared as well.

Meanwhile…

Asuka had Kensuke pinned against the wall. Her arm was reared back for a punch, but froze when Kensuke managed to sputter out, "Punch me, and I make copies of the video!!"

"What video!?"

Kensuke grinned evilly. "The video of Shinji and you on the floor, of course."

The evil hacker whipped out a videotape from seemingly nowhere. "And the WHOLE school will see what you and Shinji were REALLY doing while you were supposed to be searching for the 'mystery man'."

This only enraged Asuka further, as she delivered a wall-shattering punch to Kensuke's gut and grabbed the video from his hand. She was about to crush it, when Kensuke wheezed out. "Don't… crush it… its got the shot… of that conveniently placed cardboard box… *wheeeeeze*." Asuka realized this, and pocketed the video.

"It stays with me, understand?"

"Yesh ma'am… uhhhh…" *WHUMP*

By now, it was time for class to start. The routine started as usual, class rep Horaki shouting out orders, however, the teacher was not present. Just then, one of the main office staff came in. "Children, as you know, the teacher is in the hospital due to an allergic reaction. He's alright, but he won't be able to teach for at least a month." At this, there was relieved whispers and chatters from the students. "*Ahem* As you also know, we can't trust this class to go one day without a teacher. I mean, think of what would happen! The room would be a mess… So, we've arranged a substitute teacher to stand in." The staff member moved aside. A man walked in, carrying a cardboard box with supplies and other assorted stuff inside.

Kensuke frowned when he saw the side of the cardboard box. On the side of the box, it said, 'To Nuclear Warhead Disposal Facility'. "What the…? Waitaminnit…" However, the real shock came when he put down the box. 

Shinji and Kensuke both gasped.

_It was him!!!_

"Class, say hello to Mr. Iroquois Pliskin. He will be your substitute teacher for the time being." 

Pliskin looked around the room menacingly.

"_Hello, class_."

Man, what has Snake got himself into? Dealing with high school freshmen (Or are they eighth graders? Who knows.)!? Is he insane? He of all people should know that you can't win against superior odds.

As always, read, review, but don't repeat. It's just their way of making more money.

But, suggestions are always good.

Until the next chapter…

WAAAAIIIIIIIIIT!!!!! I forgot… this is Chapter 3 v2.0, meaning it is the REVISED version. My thanks go out to these authors…

wutdaheck

DarkPower

Wandering Slacker

Aktar

for pointing out some of my MANY errors. *sweatdrop* As you know, this is my first fic, so please don't be too angry.

By the way, Bad Ronald, if you've had some ideas for this fanfic, drop me a line, and ill see if I can integrate them into this one.

Men with bandannas and 'Nuclear Warhead Disposal Facility' cardboard boxes should NEVER be trusted.

~Beanster the Terrible

Bonus Omake Theatre (The Adventures of Toni-sama) 

::Toni-sama is sitting on his couch, watching Golden Boy::

::Door knocks::

*****KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

::Toni-sama's mom answers::

Toni-sama's mom- Excuse me, can I help you?

Woman at door- Hi, were here to see Tony.

Toni-sama's mom- Oh, okay, just hold on a minute. TONIIIIIII!!! You've got visitors!!!

Toni-sama- Coming!

:::Toni-sama goes to the door, to see Mai Shiranui, Meryl Silverburgh, Sniper Wolf, the three Goddess Sisters, five Catgirls, Tifa Lockheart, Aerith Gainsboro, and Asuka.:::

Toni-sama- !!!!!!!!

Mai- Are you Toni-sama?

Toni-sama- Uhm… Ahhhh… oh! Y-y-yes!! (Busy staring at Mai's boobs)

Urd, from outside: Are you going to let us in, or what?

Toni-sama- Ahhhh… please come in!

:::Toni-sama moves back and all the girls file in:::

Toni-sama- Hold on a second, I gotta take care of my room for a second.

:::Toni-sama dashes upstairs, furiously cleaning his room, hiding his hentai collection (which happens to be of those girls), and getting the bed cleared.:::

Toni-sama's mom, from downstairs: Toni, I gotta go to the store to pick up some stuff! See you later!

Toni-sama- Bye mom!

:::Toni-sama finally realizes he has the house all to himself, save for the girls downstairs. Hey… Waitaminnit…:::

Mai, from directly behind Toni-sama: Nice room.

Toni-sama: GAAH!! W-w-who sent you, anyway? :::still staring at Mai's boobs:::

Mai- Beanster the Terrible, of course. He wanted us to… umm… how should I say this…

Meryl- He wanted us to… errr… show you the ropes.

Tifa- To… ahh… show you a good time?

Urd- He wanted us to screw your brains out!!!

:::Toni-sama's eyes nearly bug out as he grins uncontrollably:::

:::Sniper Wolf approaches, running a hand along the front of Toni-sama's shirt:::

Sniper Wolf, seductively- Well? Surely you're not going to pass this up, are you?

Belldandy, more seductively, wrapping her arms around Toni-sama's waist- We can do anything you want… wouldn't you like that?

:::Toni-sama is borderline on passing out, when suddenly, that annoying little voice called 'conscience' decides to speak up:::

T-sama's Conscience- You can't do this!! You already have a girlfriend! You have to resist their temptations if you want to stay loyal to her!!!

:::T-sama looks around, sees all the pretty girls:::

T-sama- Oh god no… why did he do this now… why not when I was single!?!?!?

Beanster the T.- I'm evil, you know that?

To be continued……..


	4. Milk does the body good!

EVA Gear Solid 1.5

Chapter 4 Part 1: And he said, "Milk. It does the body good!"

Disclaimer: I wish I did own Evangelion… then I could make Asuka and Rei do whatever I want them too… Heheh… But, alas, I do not own Evangelion, so I can't. Oh yeah, I don't own Metal Gear Solid either. If I did, I'd have a whole lot of crap like SOCOMs and Nikitas and C4s to blow other crap up with.

            A bit of cigarette smoke hung in the air of a dimly lit room, filled with cardboard moving boxes. A figure sat on one of the boxes, slowly smoking a cigarette. A bunch of test papers sat neatly on another one of the boxes, waiting to be graded. The figure spoke in a quiet yet gruff voice, putting out the cigarette in an ashtray. "How did I get myself into this… and how am I gonna get back home?"

            At 11:00 at night, Asuka and Shinji sat at the kitchen table, furiously scribbling on sheets of paper. Finally, when the last scribbles were scribbled on the last of the scribble-filled paper, Shinji fell back into his chair, his hand limp from scribbling so fast. Asuka put her arms on the table, using them as a makeshift pillow for her head. Both children were panting.

"Geez… I can't even remember when we got this much homework…" wheezed Shinji.

"I can't remember when we had homework _period_! Damn that replacement teacher!" said Asuka in reply.

Shinji's thoughts faded back to Mr. Pliskin. "Iroquois Pliskin… Solid Snake… presumed dead, but here he is, teaching my class… what the hell is going on here…"

Asuka looked up wearily. "You say somethin'?"

"Nah… nothing."

The next day…

Shinji, as well as the rest of the class looked half-dead. Most of the students had been up to the odd hours of the night finishing the homework assigned by Mr. Pliskin the day before. Some students had opted not to do it. In turn, Pliskin gave each of them one week of in-school suspension. This alone had spurred what was left of the class to stay awake for the gruff American's grueling lessons. Finally, the lunch bell rang, and the 2-A students shuffled resignedly out the door to the schoolyard. Kensuke, Touji, and Shinji had their lunches underneath one of the trees in the schoolyard, relaxing in its shade. Touji had been filled in about the deal with Iroquois Pliskin/Solid Snake a couple nights ago.

"We need to do something about Snake…" said Touji.

"I agree. What with all the homework he's giving us, I just don't have the energy to hack into top-secret government databases anymore…" said Kensuke.

Shinji turned to look at the two boys.

"Don't you think we should get more people into this? If just the three of us confront him, who knows what'll happen."

"I agree. There is strength in numbers. Tell you what. Shinji, Touji, my dad isn't going to be home for a while, because he's on a business trip to America. That means I have my house all to myself. Why don't we go ask some of the people if they want to come over, and then we can formulate a plan of approach? Oh, and Shinji, try to avoid the women-folk. If they find out about-"

"Find out what, Mr. Aida?"

"Shut up Rei!! They'll hear!!"

*CRRRRACK*

There was a rustling noise above them, and when they looked up, three people fell gracefully out of the tree, along with a branch. It was quite humorous how they landed, though. Hikari was caught perfectly by Touji, and thus avoided a bruise. Shinji was knocked down and Asuka seemed to land straddling his torso, thus effectively pinning him to the ground. However, Rei was not so lucky. There was a loud thud, and when the other four children looked over, a ridiculous sight met their eyes. Rei had seemed to fall in an awkward position, and landed directly on top of Kensuke. The boy's head somehow found its way right in between Rei's breasts, as Rei fell directly on top of the poor boy. Kensuke exhaled, and his warm breath caused shivers to race all over the blue-haired girl's body. Touji howled in laughter. "All right Kensuke! I never knew you had it in you!!" Just then, a shadow loomed over the group. Slowly, the six heads turned to face the cause of the ominous shadow. Silhouetted against the sky, the seemingly towering form of Mr. Pliskin denied them the light of the sun. He looked over the group with a half-amused, half-suspicious eye.

"What in god's name is going on here?"

His voice was low, and rumbled like an earthquake. Instinctively, the six children held their breath. Touji was the first to gather his wits and start talking. "Well, you s-s-see sir, it was a-an accident… W-we didn't know that the girls were in this t-tree… so when they j-jumped down, this happened."

Pliskin spotted the fallen tree branch.

"If they jumped down, then how did this happen?"

"Ahhh… w-well, ummm…"

Just then, the corners of Pliskin's mouth curled up in a slight smile.

"Tell you what. I'll give the six of you the benefit of the doubt, and say that this was an accident. Just don't let me find you in such compromising positions again, understand?"

The six children quickly nodded. With that, Pliskin turned on his heel and walked away, his bandanna blowing in the wind. The children released the breath of air they were holding. Rei quickly stood up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her school uniform. Her cheeks were as red as her eyes. Kensuke just stared blankly at the ground in disbelief and embarrassment.

"I am sorry Mr. Aida. It will not happen again." Rei gave a hasty apology. Asuka looked down at Shinji. Shinji looked up at Asuka. Asuka punched Shinji square in the chest, knocking the air out of him, before getting up and dusting herself off.

{Authors note: WARNING! SAPPY ROMANCE SCENE AHEAD!}

Hikari, who was still in the arms of Touji, looked up into his eyes, before linking her arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek. From the spot that she kissed him, red warmth spread throughout his whole face. "Thanks, Mr. Suzahara."

"Aaaahhh… you're welcome, class rep."

"Please, call me Hikari."

"You can call me Touji, too."

Touji smiled warmly.

Suddenly, the sappy romance scene was interrupted by Asuka's sappy-romance scene-crushing voice.

"Alright, stooge, what were you talking about just then?"

Shinji's eyes widened as he instinctively began to curl up like a porcupine. Asuka stomped over, hauled him up by his collar, and reared her free hand-turned-fist back. "Tell me everything or you get a fat lip and a blind eye, Third child!"

"Okay! I'll tell you! Just don't hurt me…"

Kensuke finally snapped out of his blank stare just in time to intervene for Shinji. "Wait, Asuka. We shouldn't talk about it here… there are too many people."

The five other kids looked around, and to their dismay, found themselves surrounded by 90% of the school's student body. Leaning over, he whispered, "Wait till we get back to class. I'll tell you guys where we'll meet and when using the laptops." The other girls nodded.

Back in class…

            The room was silent, save for the tapping of the computer keys as the class worked on their assignment. Kensuke opened a private chat area on his computer and got the other five children in. Kensuke began typing to the other five.

"My house. 4:30 p.m., on the dot. Adults prohibited. The passwords are 'Solid Pliskin Snake', in that order. Be there or be square, no questions asked. Understood?"

The glasses-wielding boy got five 'OK' responses. Little did he know that Mr. Pliskin himself was monitoring his conversation. Suddenly, on the six children's computers, a message came up. "Using school laptops for messaging during class time is prohibited. I suggest you reschedule your meeting for 5:00, Mr. Aida, because the six of you are assigned detention for today." Out of nowhere, six groans pierced the silence of the classroom.

Unknown to any of them, Pliskin spoke quietly to himself…

"They're on to me… damn."

Later that day… after detention…

Touji walked up to Kensuke's house, ringing the doorbell.

"Password?"

"Kensuke, its me, Touji. Lemme in!"

"Password?"

"Open the door, dammit! It's hot out here, and I have to use the bathroom really bad!"

"Password?"

"RRRAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!"

Touji screamed as he charged forward with amazing power. The door was consequentially knocked not only off its hinges, but on top of a surprised Kensuke as well. With that, Touji made a beeline straight to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him as he went. A long suppressed sigh of relief was heard. Meanwhile, Shinji was busy trying to lift the demolished door off of an equally demolished Kensuke. Asuka and Hikari giggled uncontrollably. Rei spoke in her quiet monotone voice.

"I believe 'biological speedbump' is the term to be used at a time like this?"

Kensuke wearily un-plastered his face and body off the door, groaning slightly. Rei spoke again in her quiet monotone voice. "I will go get some ice for the bruise." Kensuke nodded, then got up with a strange look on his face. "What the heck is this? I've got a serious craving for chocolate milk…?" And with that, followed Rei into the kitchen.

(Author's note: Thanks to Bad Ronald and Toni-sama for the inspiration for this scene. You hentai sons-of-guns you!!)

Kensuke's kitchen was fairly small, seeing as how his was a house built for two people. Rei was silently putting ice from the ice tray onto a washcloth. Kensuke reached into the fridge, grabbing a carton of milk and a bottle of chocolate syrup. He poured some milk into a glass, but when he went to pour the chocolate syrup, he found that the squirt-top wasn't letting any out. There was a clog, so Kensuke unscrewed the cap, pouring some into the glass, and stirring with the spoon. Taking a sip from the glass, he turned to walk away. However, this would prove to have deadly consequences. For unknown to either of them, a lone, solitary piece of ice lay on the ground, right were Kensuke's next footfall was about to land. What happened next happened hard and fast. Kensuke slipped on the piece of ice, causing him to stumble backward. The chocolate milk, thrown from the glass, got all over Rei's skirt. The glasses-equipped boy cried out, his hands flailing wildly for something to grab on to. In his wild flailing, he succeeded in not only knocking Rei off-balance, but in knocking over the milk carton as well; the milk spilling all over the front of the boy's pants. A substantial portion also spilled onto Rei's face and blouse. The two hit the ground with a dull *thud*, and in an extremely erotic position, at that. Kensuke landed on top, holding himself up with his hands. His head was right above Rei's soaked skirt. Rei subsequently landed with Kensuke's crotch directly a few inches above her head. She noted that his fly was unzipped. A few drops of milk dripped onto her face. They heard Shinji speaking from the den. The two children froze, holding their breath.

"Did you hear a dull *thud* noise just now?"

"Hmmm… nope. Can't say I did."

Just then, as if to add insult to injury, the coverless chocolate syrup bottle fell off the counter. Kensuke looked up just in time to see the bottle's contents spill onto his face, the bottle itself hitting him on the head, and seemingly (defying the laws of physics) landing underneath Rei's skirt. The breath he was holding let itself out.

"Ow!"

Shinji spoke from the den again.

"Okay, I know you heard it that time!"

"What's going on in there?"

"Lets check it out."

Kensuke could only freeze in horror, hearing the footfalls of the three alerted children become louder and louder as they neared. Finally, three pairs of feet came into Kensuke's chocolate syrup-smeared view.

"AAHH!! Umm… This really isn't what it seems!"

"Mr. Aida is correct. This is decidedly not what it seems."

This was quite hard for the other four children to believe, seeing as how Kensuke's face was nearly covered in chocolate syrup, and more chocolate syrup leaked out from the bottle underneath Rei's skirt. But the others didn't know that. Hikari spoke, nearly in a whisper.

"Umm… Kinky…?"

Shinji had seemingly disappeared all of a sudden. Kensuke hastily got himself up, for the second time that day. Turning around, he offered a hand in helping Rei up. She accepted, and the now-empty bottle of chocolate syrup fell out from underneath her skirt. Asuka picked it up and waved it in Kensuke's face. "Not how it seems, huh? Then how'd this get there? And what about you, Wondergirl? How is it that the front of four-eyes' pants are covered in a white fluid, and yet your face is as well? You must have done some real wonders to glasses-boy here for that!"

As suddenly as he disappeared, Shinji reappeared with a familiar little grey video camera in hand. He pointed it at the two.

And he said, "Milk. It does the body good!"

Him, Asuka, and Hikari erupted in laughter. Kensuke and Rei could just look at the ground and blush redder than Asuka's plug suit.

Thirty minutes later, after the mess was cleaned up, Touji had finally come out of the bathroom, Asuka and Hikari had finally finished giggling, and Hikari explained to Touji what happened, not necessarily in that order. Actually, Touji had gotten out of the bathroom, then the two girls stopped giggling, and THEN Hikari explained the unintentionally sexual encounter. Waitaminnit. I seem to be repeating myself. Chalk it up to old age, even though I'm only 15. Rei had been silent throughout the whole thing. Kensuke saw Touji enter the room.

"Jeez, Touji, you sure took long enough in the bathroom. You shouldn't drink so much soda."

Touji just looked meekly at the ground. "Well, as my great-uncle J. Sasaki once said, 'When you gotta go, you gotta go.'"

Kensuke had set up a TV connected to his computer in the den, and turned it on. "Okay, ladies and gents, here's the deal. There is something fishy about our current teacher, Mr. quote-unquote 'Iroquois Pliskin'. After hacking into some top secret U.S. Government files, I managed to come across this picture." Kensuke pressed a key and a slightly blurry photo of a man in a grey and black body armor came up. Asuka squinted slightly. "I can't make out who that guy is! Focus the picture, baka." Kensuke narrowed his eyes as he pressed two other keys on the keyboard, making the picture zoom in on the face. It then slowly clarified the photo. Hikari gasped.

"My god! He's… he's…"

"He is the intruder." said Rei.

"And our teacher!" said Asuka.

Kensuke spoke up again.

"And he's Solid Snake, a government operative who was well known among his superiors and subordinates as Metal Gear's bane."

Touji raised his hand. "What's a Metal Gear?"

Kensuke pushed his glasses up his nose, grinning. "Metal Gear. A bipedal nuclear-capable battle tank, capable of launching short-range as well as ballistic missiles. It was a top-secret government project masked to the public. However, some terrorists got a hold of it, and basically held the biggest intercontinental stick-up ever. They sent in Solid Snake alone, and he succeeded in infiltrating the enemy's fortress, stopping the terrorists, and destroying Metal Gear. However, it was said that he was killed back around 2003 or 2004. There were accusations that he sank an oil tanker in the lower New York Harbor and ended up going down with the ship."

Asuka stood up. "But if he's dead, then how can he be here, much less alive!?"

Shinji shook his head. "We don't know, Asuka. But, we're planning to confront him about it to get some answers as to what is going on."

Asuka burst out. "Are you that much of an idiot!? You said it yourself! He's got a gun! What if we're not supposed to find out, and then he has to get rid of us!?"

Shinji closed his eyes and reached into his coat pocket, feeling for something. "You're right, Asuka, he does have a gun. However…"

He pulled out Misato's spare 9mm pistol, complete with suppressor, and held it flat in the palm of his hand.

"So do we."

EVA Gear Solid 1.5

Chapter 4 Part 2: Confrontations

            The classes went as they normally did since Pliskin showed up. They were filled with the furious typing of class notes, bloodshot eyes due to lack of sleep, and two-ton bookbags, made heavy due to the nearly inhumane amounts of homework dumped on them each day. However, Shinji was wide-awake. And quite fidgety, at that. In the event that Pliskin attempted to pull a fast one, it was up to him to either incapacitate him, immobilize him, or eliminate him altogether. Not that a shoot-to-kill subterfuge was anything new to the Evangelion pilot, but this time, he was in person, not in an entry plug. All damage inflicted to him would not just be felt, but seen in real life. It was a great burden for the young boy, indeed. Finally the moment came. Rei, Asuka, Shinji, Touji, Hikari, and Kensuke were all gathered around the door. Shinji fingered his pocket restlessly. Kensuke looked around to check for people.

"Alright people, it all comes down to this. Touji, you block the door. Nobody gets in. Shinji, you're behind me. When I give you the signal, get the gun out and stick him up for all your worth, got it? The signal is when I run my hand through my hair. Remember, only when I give you the signal. Asuka, Rei, Hikari, you stay behind Shinji."

Asuka pouted. "How come I can't be the one with the gun!? I've got better aim, anyway!"

Kensuke turned to face her. "Shinji gets the gun because this mission was originally only for Touji, me, and Shinji. Just be glad that you get to hear what we get to her, m'kay? Good."

With that, he turned to face the door. "Lets do this…"

He turned the door handle and opened it with a jolt. The five kids rushed in, stopping at Pliskin's desk. Pliskin looked up from the newspaper he was reading. "Can I help you?"

"Yes you can, as a matter of fact. Tell me where you're from, Mr. Pliskin. Or should I call you… Solid Snake?"

"!!" Pliskin's eyes widened at the mention of his old codename.

Kensuke ran a hand through his hair. Shinji drew the 9mm and aimed at Pliskin. The bandanna-wielding man saw the gun, and relaxed in his chair. A knife could cut the tension in the air. (Author's Note: Dude! That rhymes! SCHWEET!!)

"You will tell us what you know."

"Bringing a gun to school… those are grounds for expulsion."

"Quiet. You're Solid Snake, are you not? Weren't you killed back in 2004?"

Snake stared into the eyes of Shinji. The boy's hands were shaking. "Is this the first time you've pointed a gun at a person, Ikari?"

Shinji frowned. "Watch it…"

Snake's eyes narrowed. "Your hands are shaking worse than an unbalanced washing machine. This is the first time you've held a gun in real life, isn't it?"

Shinji leveled the gun at Snake's head, though his aim was horrible due to his nervous hands. "I'll shoot you if you force me to!"

The corners of Snake's mouth curved up in a sly grin. "Go ahead. Pull the trigger. I dare you to. That is, if your man enough to do it."

In an instant, a fire lit up in Shinji's eyes. He aimed the 9mm at the man's arm and, shutting his eyes tight, squeezed the trigger.

……

"Hey!?"

The gun did not fire. For some reason, the trigger wouldn't move.

"Try taking the safety off first."

Shinji just mumbled something to himself as he disengaged the safety and leveled the gun at Snake's arm again. His finger tightened on the trigger…

……

*click*

_WHAT!?_

Shinji's eyes snapped wide open, and all the kids, even Rei, stared horrified at the pistol in Shinji's hand. It was out of ammunition. Shinji pulled back the slide, only to have his fears reaffirmed.

There were no bullets.

The bullet clip was full of empty air.

Asuka nearly screamed. "Leave it to a complete idiot like you to bring an EMPTY GUN!!!"

A low, rumbling laugh filled the room as the empty clip fell to the ground with a clank. "I knew. I could tell that it was out of ammo. Fortunately, you didn't have the sense to check it before you came. I guess my secret is out…"

Snake stood up ominously, taking the gun from Shinji's violently shaking hands. Fear gripped the five children with an iron fist. Hikari broke the silence.

"TOUJIIIIII!!!" 

Like a whirlwind, Touji burst in through the door, landing a left hook on Snake's jaw; Snake stumbled back, but regained his balance. The defiant young boy stood in front of the group, his hand holding Hikari's.

"You'll have to get through me first!" shouted Touji.

Snake rubbed his sore jaw, looking at the ragtag group of children before him.

"Listen, I wasn't going to hurt any of you. I was simply going to take the handgun and report it to security. But… I guess you already figured out who I am."

Kensuke spoke up.

"How did you get here? All the reports said you were assumed dead!"

"I don't know… all I know is that I'm not from this time…"

Silence filled the room.

"All I remember is that I was in New York, 52nd street. I was at the apartment of a friend of mine, when suddenly, there was a lightning flash, a boom, and I ended up here. I mean, literally. I was dressed in my sneaking suit, armed with this…" Snake pulled out a pistol from his desk drawer. "Looks like some kind of a converted M9 Beretta. It only shoots tranquilizer rounds. I had some other equipment with me too."

From there, Snake told the six children of how he formulated his fake identity, rented a small house, and got a job at the school.

"And that's what happened. I don't know what to do now, but I need to find a way back. And a teacher's salary won't be able to hold up the bills for long, either."

Kensuke thought for a second, and then said, "You can stay with me, Snake. At least until we can find out how to get you back to your time."

"You sure about this, kid?"

"Don't worry. My dad's out of town for the next few months, so I've got the house all to myself!"

Snake nodded, then turned to Shinji.

"You know, I was planning to tranquilize you and stash you in a broom closet, but since you had the guts to confront me like you did, I decided to tell you."

Shinji just grinned.

However… unknown to any of the people in the classroom, a mysterious figure watches from a tree, armed with a pair of binoculars and a directional microphone. The figure muttered in a slight Russian accent. "Snake…!"

Things are starting to develop! Will Snake ever find his way back to his present? Will we see Touji and Hikari going out anytime soon? Will we see more embarrassing slips, trips, and falls out of Kensuke and Rei? Will the identity of the mysterious Russian man be revealed?

Find out next time, on EVA Gear Solid 1.5 Chapter 5!!!

By the way, just to clear up some questions, the reason why Snake becomes a teacher is because it's the only open job opportunity around, seeing as how he put the other guy out of commission for a while. And, he DOESN'T take it in stride. He just gives them tons of work to do, for two reasons.

To keep the kids out of his hair. The kids will hate him for giving all the work, so they'll most likely leave him alone. 

See? It all works out perfectly.

Man… Got Milk? Rei does. You can thank Toni-sama for that little bit of extreme, near-NC-17 perversity.

Till I write next chapter…

It is a law of EVA physics that whenever any two characters of the opposite sex slip and fall at the same time that they will always land in an erotic position. 

Always.

~Beanster the Terrible

Bonus Omake Theater (Ninja Training with Mai Shiranui! YAAAAAAAY!)

Toni-sama walks up to a large building. He's dressed in a traditional karate outfit, with some fingerless gloves to boot, carrying a black duffel bag. He arrives at a building. Looking up, he reads the sign over the door.

"Shiranui Dojo… Hmmm…"

Walking in, he sees an old man.

"Hey you! Old man! I wish to challenge the strongest fighter of your dojo!

"So be it, young man. I will pit you against the strongest one. MAI! GET IN HERE!"

Mai Shiranui walks in, dressed in that skimpy ninja outfit we guys all know and love.

"What is it, grandfather?"

"School this bastard. He called me an old man."

"Yes, grandfather."

Toni-sama takes a defensive stance as Mai whips out her fans.

"I'll give you a lesson you'll never forget!"

Mai and Toni-sama both charge, when Mai suddenly ducks and slides under Toni-sama, getting up behind him and putting him in a headlock.

"AAACCKK!!!"

Mai squeezes hard on Toni-sama's neck while thwapping his face with a fan.

"And my grandfather is NOT an old man!!!"

Suddenly, by a stroke of ingeniousness, T-sama reaches behind him, tickling Mai's bare ribcage. Laughing hard, she lets go. Grinning almost drunkenly, T-sama charges again, unloading a barrage of punches. However, Mai's fans block all of them. Mai then delivers a devastating punch to T-sama's midsection, knocking him to the ground.

"OOooOOOoOOoooohhh…"

Mai, with a determined look on her face, locks T-sama's head between her legs, squeezing the life out of him. Not that Toni-sama minded. He was having the time of his life, though his life itself was slipping away.

Suddenly, Mai released her grip, staring at T-sama's face. Suddenly, her eyes widened in disgust.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you!?"

Unfortunately for Mai, her distraction left her in a vulnerable position. In a flash, T-sama had flipped her over, grabbing her wrists and pinning her to the floor.

"Very much so, my dear…"

Suddenly, there was a twinkle in the ninja-woman's eye.

"Oh really? Well… maybe I should give you some private training lessons, ne?"

T-sama's eyes widen as he stares, his mouth agape. Mai slides out from underneath him, and drags him into a back room.

(Insert lemony scene here )

Waitaminnit. I forgot. FF.net doesn't allow NC-17 stories. Dammit… that sucks.


	5. How to Hijack Tokyo 3 in a day

EVA Gear Solid 1.5

Chapter 5: How to take Tokyo-3 as a hostage

****

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, Metal Gear Solid, Gundam Wing, or Love Hina, or Dragonball Z. I know what your thinking. 'Gundam Wing? Love Hina? D-ball Z? What the heck?' Just read on, you'll see soon enough.

            Snake was chillin' like a villain at Kensuke's house, reading a book. Kensuke, Touji, and Shinji were watching TV. Just then, Snake put down his book. "Hey Kensuke, where IS your dad, anyway?"

"He's off at some archaeological dig. It's something top-secret, and something for NERV, that much I know."

"Hmmm…"

Meanwhile… at a certain archaeological dig on the side of a certain mountain in a certain Tokyo-3, Kensuke's father shouted in triumph.

"YES!!!"

A giant crane was lifting up a big black mecha. It was gigantic, almost as big as an EVA, and had huge mechanical wings, not much different from bat wings. It held a long staff in one had that looked like a blade extended from the end. Gently, it set it down next to what appeared to be a gigantic opaque ice cube. One of the other workers walked up to Kensuke's old man, holding a printout.

"Genma, do you realize what this is!? It's amazing! I thought these things were destroyed years ago!"

The bespectacled man spoke.

"I can't believe it… The Gundam Deathscythe! This is amazing! This must be what NERV sent us out here to find!!"

"Lets dig around some more! Maybe we can find another one!"

Suddenly, a boy clothed only with one of those tiny Japanese bath towels ran by, looking very scared. The two excavators could only watch as the towel-clad boy began to scale the giant black mech. Just then, 5 girls ran by in the same direction as the boy. One of them shouted,

"Urashima! You get your skinny butt back here to I can properly KICK IT!!!"

From up high on the mech, the boy shouted back, terrified. "N-N-Naru! I didn't mean to do it, honest! Please don't kill me!"

Then, suddenly, the giant black mech began to tip. It started slowly, but rapidly picked up speed as it fell backward; the weight of the boy offsetting its balance. Genma Aida had only a moment to notice where the mech was about to land. Right on a box of N^2 grenades. The N^2 grenades they were using to blow out the chunks of rocks. As the Mobile Suit hit the ground, the subsequent explosion blew it to pieces, sending the Urashima boy flying.

"WAAAAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

 The five girls ran off after him. Genma only sweatdropped. Just then the foreman noticed a fog had come over the area.

"The ice cube! It must have melted!!"

Running over to the place where the ice block sat, he found something completely different. It was another gigantic mech. It wasn't as tall as an EVA, but from his vantage point, it was nothing short of menacing. It looked somewhat like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. On its left arm, there was a radome, and on the right, an enormous rail gun. The Gatling guns on either side of its head seemed to stare back at him, ominously.  It was painted a dull army green, and it reflected the sunlight as the fog lifted.

"I understand now… This must be… the one."

"Metal Gear REX-B."

"It was cryogenically frozen, and when the N^2 grenades went off, it must have produced enough heat to thaw it out…"

"We'd better inform the commander that we've found it."

"You'll do no such thing, Aida."

"What the…"

Genma turned around to find the barrel of a revolver pointed straight at his forehead. The man who held it was a Russian, no doubt. His long silver hair was tied back in a ponytail and his outfit resembled that of an old pre-Second Impact western. As the fog cleared further, the other excavators and workers noticed the situation, and began to run to them. However, the sound of the revolver being cocked halted them in their tracks.

"Thanks to that stupid boy, my REX-B is finally thawed out. This was too easy…"

Spinning the foreman around, he grabbed him by the neck and dragged him toward the REX, the revolver still cocked, loaded and pressed against his temple. Then, in a feat of almost superhuman agility, he leapt up onto the head of the behemoth mecha. Pulling a lever, the jaw dropped open, revealing a cockpit. Saluting to the men below, he yelled mockingly.

"Thanks for your hospitality, comrade…"

"Who are you!?"

Turning menacingly, he stared down at the man.

"I am… Ocelot. Revolver Ocelot. And I need this more than you ever will."

With that, Ocelot jumped into the cockpit, the jaw slamming shut after him. A whining noise came from within the great machine, and it jolted forward as it stood to its full height. It was like a monstrous dinosaur being awoken. Leveling its railgun at the ammo dump it fired a round. The place exploded in fire as REX began running down the mountain.

Meanwhile… back at Kensuke's house…

"Snake… did you feel that?"

"Feel what?"

"Felt like the earth gave a small jolt…"

"I didn't feel anything."

"Hmmm…"

Back in REX-B…

The Russian spoke into a radio.

"REX hijacking is completed, sir."

A voice crackled over the intercom.

"Did you take care of the excavation site?"

"Blew it away. There are no traces, only a crater."

"Good. Look farther down the mountain. There will be a cave. I've set up some equipment to house REX until we initiate our plan's final phase. That includes the nuclear-equipped railgun ammunition…"

"Understood sir. I see the cave entrance now."

"Leave REX there and proceed to the next phase of the plan. Over-and-out."

"10-4, sir."

Later that day…

            For the first time in ages, the Katsuragi household was quiet. The only sound that resonated throughout the apartment was the creak of a shower faucet being turned off, the pattering of water changing to silence. That is, save for the clicking of the front door. Slowly, the door opened without so much as a creak. The figure stepped inside. Scanning the doors, he opened one of them and went inside. He noticed a pair of earphones lying on the bed. Just then, suddenly, the intruder felt a bump from behind his leg. Looking down, he saw a small penguin trying to squeeze past his leg into the room. Smiling evilly, he grabbed the penguin, clamping its beak shut, and running out of the house, shutting the door behind him with a click. Just then, Asuka walked out of the shower, hearing the click of the door.

"Huh? Shinji is over at the stooge's place, and Misato is at work, so who could that have been? At least that silly penguin keeps quiet. Where IS Pen-pen, anyway?"

Back at REX's cave…

Ocelot looked at his handiwork. The small penguin was tied up, duct tape holding his mouth shut.

"Hmm… Not much of a hostage, but it will have to do."

Taking a phone out of his coat pocket, he spoke.

"We've got the hostage. The stage is set…"

"Excellent. That was faster than I expected, Shalashaska. You are indeed skilled. Stay there, and keep the hostage ALIVE. I need to make a few preparations."

"Understood, sir."

"WARK!!"

"Huh? Ocelot, what was that noise!?"

"Oh, um… it's the hostage."

"Well keep him quiet, will you?"

"Yes, sir. Ocelot out."

Turning to look at the trussed-up penguin, he shook his head.

"What kind of hostage is this…?"

"Wark!"

"Oh, shut up, will you!?"

"WARKWARKWARKWARK!!!"

"Why… Why did I capture a penguin…"

"WAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRK!!!!!!"

At NERV Headquarters, Misato's head jerked up, her eyes wide.

"Did I just hear… Pen-pen!?"

Omake Theater (The Chibi-wars!)

:Chibi-Goku is sitting on the floor, playing with a SS Goku action figure.:

Goku- Kamehameha! Hahahahaha…

:Suddenly, the Chibi-Gundam boys run in, lead by Heero:

Heero- Lookit the dweeb!

:The Chibi-G-boys whip out their respective Gundam action figures and smash the SS Goku figure:

Goku- WAAAHHH!!!

:The Chibi-G-boys plop themselves down, playing with their Gundam action figures.:

:Suddenly, Chibi-Solid Snake runs in, smoking a candy cigarette, a Nerf dart pistol holstered on his leg.:

Goku- Who are you?

Snake- Snake. Solid Snake.

:Snake whips out a canister of spray coolant, and sprays it in Goku's hair.:

Goku- HAAAAAAAH!! HELP ME!! Ooo, pretty!

:Goku starts braiding his hair like Duo Maxwell, when it promptly freezes in place. Goku tries to undo it, but ends up ripping out a large portion of hair.:

Snake- Hahaha! Take this!

:Snake smashes the Gundam figures with a 2-foot tall Metal Gear REX action figure. Running back out the door, he turns and speaks.:

Snake- Oh yeah… one more thing-

:::POING:::

Snake- Gundam sucks! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

:The poing was from Chibi-Snake's Nerf dart gun, the dart sticking Heero right between his eyes. As Snake runs out, the Chibi-EVA kids run in, seeing the other Chibi-G-boys trying to pry the dart off Heero's head, while Heero lies petrified on the ground.:

Chibi-Asuka- Mein Gott! What on earth happened here!?

:Chibi-Shinji thinks for a minute, the classic MGS Question Mark(TM) appearing above his head. Suddenly, the Question mark shatters as a Nerf dart flies through it. Another whizzes by Rei's head.:

Chibi-Eva Kids- SNAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!

:Snake's cackling can be heard outside, and the EVA kids chase after him, the MGS Alert Buzzer(TM) sounding in the background as the MGS Escape(TM) song begins playing.:

FINALLY!! I know, this was a short chapter, but it was Shalashaska's entrance. And the main tension-builder of the story. Also, sorry to keep all you EGS fans waiting for this chapter, but school has been a pain in the butt. Anyway… BUM-BUM-BUMMMM!!! The protagonist of the story finally shows himself!! What diabolical schemes does good ole' Shalashaska have brewing for Tokyo-3 and NERV? And whom exactly is Ocelot working for? Well, the man on the other side of the radio, of course. But, who is the man on the other side of the radio, you ask? Well… that's a secret.

The suspense is building! The tension is rising! Find out what happens next on EVA Gear Solid 1.5, Chapter 6!!

Till the next upload…

Gundams falling on N^2 grenades are never a good thing. Unless you're Shalashaska.

~Beanster the Terrible


End file.
